Looking for Ghosts behind every corner

Things have been good lately. Real good. They got a little iffy for awhile but I feel back on track. Bills are paid, work is productive and that boy of mine, well… perfection is to simple a word for it.

Still, today, even after the AMAZING night I had I couldn’t sleep. And I couldn’t sleep the night before, or the night before that. Something tells me I won’t be sleeping tonight, or at all this weekend. I’m restless and antsy because for the first time in almost five months C is in the same town as me. Not only the same town, but the same side of town. Charlotte is not as big as you would imagine.

Walking around Harris Teeter today I jumped three times and strained my eyes thinking he was around the corner or in line a few people ahead of me.

I have this unreasonable fear that even though he decided he didn’t want to see me this trip, he wasn’t ready to see me this trip, that I’m going to run into him anyways. Awkwardness masked with unreasonable tension makes for a bad day.

And what does that mean anyway. HE’S not ready to see me yet. I’m sorry… who dumped who via google chat after four years. I didn’t realize he got to have an opinion.

But the dynamic of me and C has always been about him, why change it now… right?

Besides, what am I worried about? The cop is planning a relaxing romantic evening for us as we speak. Candles, rose petals and most likely a naked man in my bed when I get home.

What more could I possibly want?

~ by kirbyann on October 10, 2008.